Coolest boys and girls (and the opposite)

College was an altogether different and an amazing phenomenon for me. One of the striking features, compared to high school, was absence of dress code. This allowed boys to be ‘cool’ using stylish dresses.

A smart and handsome boy in our class was really cool. I once keenly observed him for more than a month. He never repeated his dress for a single day during that period. After one month I lost track of what he wore a month ago. He was admired, looked up to and talked about his style by others. I was bit confused not knowing whether I should admire him or hate him.

This cool boy was way more confident than any other person and never paid attention to people or tried to be friendly. He did not need to. He was cool and by definition already ‘in demand’.

Recycling my ‘best’ clothes every few days, one thing was sure, I was anything but cool.

Then there were some instances when someone misbehaved with a teacher in a weired way and was termed as ‘cool’. This made me question the meaning and value of being cool.

So here is the question: what is cool, why and who is the coolest person? And here is one explanation by deBono:

The coolest person around is a corpse. The corpse is independent and untroubled by the world around. The corpse is actually very cool. The corpse contributes nothing.

As a style, cool is defensive and contributes nothing. It is very ego-centric. It is a detachment from the world. [1]

Now look around and see how the cool people around you look like. Probably like dead people, ignoring what rest of the world is doing and, at the same time, contributing nothing?

There is another possibility, the opposite one, being warm:

‘Warm form’ is the opposite. Warm form means that you are so confident that you can afford to be outgoing and generous. You smile whether people smile back or not. [2]

Yes, your warm smile which is spontaneous, being humorous (and not being funny), when you help me and then forget, when you create something to make this world a better place without telling anyone. Feeling warm?

If this billionaire cannot afford to be cool, can we? And look at his smile.

I am still not cool. But, now, I am not confused. 🙂

[1] ‘H+’ by Edward de Bono, page 50.