Armaghan Saqib

The new “Priority Inbox” feature of gmail divides your Inbox into three sections.

No more hunting of important messages in your inbox full of unread messages. Gmail will automatically identify the important messages based upon the frequency of your contact/replies and probably few other things. You can also mark a message as important using + button.

This feature will keep all those emails which are not spam but still unnecessary or unimportant (like a promotion from your favorite store or a funny movie clip from a friend etc.) at the bottom of your inbox.

This feature has interesting implications for mass email marketers. Your messages are going to end-up at the bottom part of the inbox and probably will get a lot less attention (or none at worst) then these get now. Time to read “Permission Marketing” by Seth Godin. First four chapters are free.

There was a time when you could get away saying “It is a trade secret”. We were doubtful whether there really existed some secret or you were just bluffing. We were really not sure. We gave you benefit of doubt and status of an expert.

It is really amazing how Internet has changed all this. All amazing people in the world are sharing their wisdom and expertise generously through free ebooks, websites, blogs and social media tools.

We still need you as an expert. We still want to pay you handsomely because you are an expert and can help us ignore the 90% which does not matter.

But now we know you are not an expert. You are just bluffing us about secret knowledge. And we know this for sure.

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/phauly/35555985/

I have written more than once (buzzwords, corporate speak, this bank ad about name change) the way corporations and intellectuals communicate making things complicated for the sake of impression.

Here is another nugget from Scott Adams’ book ‘The Dilbert Principle’ on the same theme:

A manager would never say, “I used my fork to eat a potato.” A manager would say, “I utilized a multitined tool to process a starch resource.”

The two sentences mean almost the same thing but the second one is obviously from a smarter person.

(Smiley added by me)

What happens when you don’t have anything to say but boss wants you to say something?

A front page ad in today’s national newspaper (Dawn) tells us that Arif Habib Bank has been renamed as Summit Bank. Why, how and benefits of this name change are as follows: (straight from the ad, I am not making this up)

We mean innovative banking and we’re committed.

With a team of most experienced bankers, Arif Habib Bank has changed to Summit Bank. The change stands for growth, which has equipped us with more values, more expertise and more solutions. Our core philosophy is based on better service, profound integrity, sold trust and greater stability assuring all our customers to enjoy a unique banking experience; because we are committed to you.

And to make it easier for you to understand the ad:

Why:

We mean innovative banking and we’re committed.

How:

With a team of most experienced bankers. (Can’t stop laughing … )

Benefits of name change:

The change stands for growth, which has equipped us with more values, more expertise and more solutions. (Drum roll please…. dum, dum, dum ….)

To be fair, this is not a lone example; it just caught my attention. Mission statements, quality claims, customer benefit statements, marketing literature, consultant reports and websites in corporate world are full of such meaningless language.

This ad could be worded like this:

Arif Habib Bank has changed its name to Summit Bank. Everything else is same.

But perhaps boss was not happy with a single line which did not depict bank’s corporate culture “accurately”.

Scott Adams writes in his book “The Dilbert Principle”:

Any business school professor will tell you that the objective of business communication is the clear transfer of information. That’s why professors rarely succeed in business.

Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/fajalar/1832785156/